


Tightrope

by buckywades (CloudxMusic99)



Series: Merthur Greatest Showman AU [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, i mean kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 17:05:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudxMusic99/pseuds/buckywades
Summary: Merlin had found himself falling in love with Arthur. However, he felt like he was walking a tightrope with Arthur. He wasn't sure that Arthur would catch him if he were to fall.





	Tightrope

**Author's Note:**

> This is part 4 in my Merthur Greatest Showman AU. I would highly recommend reading the other parts before reading this.

The next day, Morgana approached Merlin.

“Did you speak with him?” Morgana asked Merlin.

Merlin groaned. “I don’t want to talk about it, Morgana,” he said.

“Oh, come now, Merlin,” needled Morgana. “I know he wanted to apologize to you. Did he?”

“Yes,” Merlin said, trying to give Morgana what she wanted without going into detail.

“Well? Is everything alright now?” Morgana questioned.

“I don’t know,” Merlin sighed. “I mean, I’m glad that he isn’t leaving, but at the same time, how can I forgive him for being ashamed of us?”

“Because he was raised by Uther Pendragon,” Morgana pointed out. “Look, I got lucky because I was raised by my mother and my sister, but Arthur wasn’t so lucky. I know that he cares for you, but the shame instilled in him by Uther is something that isn’t so simple to overcome. I didn’t even live with the man and he still managed to make me feel ashamed and scared of my magic for several years. Meeting you is what changed that. Give him time.”

Merlin sighed. Perhaps Morgana was right. Even so…

“I think I’m falling in love with Arthur,” Merlin confessed.

Morgana smiled. “I know,” she said.

“It seems crazy, because we haven’t known each other for too long, but I know I’d follow him anywhere,” Merlin told Morgana. “The problem is… would he follow me?”

“What do you mean?” Morgana asked, a bit confused.

“I feel like I’m walking a tightrope around him,” Merlin said. “If I fall, how do I know he’ll catch me? I don’t know where I stand with him anymore. The first few weeks he was here, he was happy. I was, too. Then, Helen Mora happened and he became ashamed. He found himself back in with the elite and he began to see us the way everyone else does. Who can say what more it would take from him to walk away completely?” Merlin knew that the look on his face was heartbreaking when Morgana could no longer look him in the eyes. Morgana could make children cry and feel no remorse.

“I’m sorry, Merlin,” Morgana said. “I brought him into your life… I should’ve remembered the kind of man he is.”

“I love the man he is,” Merlin stated. “I’m just not sure that he does. That’s why he’s letting the opinions of other people cloud his judgement. That’s why he’s pretending to be something he’s not.”

 

~*~*~*~

 

Arthur entered the building and paused when he heard Merlin’s voice.

“I think I’m falling in love with Arthur,” Merlin said.

Arthur almost couldn’t believe what he heard. Merlin was in love with him? Arthur realized that, deep down, he felt the same. He wasn’t sure when he began feeling this way. Maybe it was when he first walked in that bar; the decision that would unknowingly change his life forever. Maybe it was when he first saw Merlin perform with Morgana; seeing Merlin so passionate about their act. Maybe it was that night when they heard Helen Mora sing and Arthur had put the briefest of smiles on Merlin’s face by holding his hand. 

Regardless of when it happened, Arthur knew it to be true. He was falling in love with Merlin Emrys. Maybe that was why he felt so ashamed. It was bad enough that Merlin had magic, something that had disgusted his father, but the fact that he was a man? That was inexcusable. Even still, in that moment, his happiness heavily overshadowed the shame that was lurking deep below. 

“I know,” another voice said. Morgana. Of course she knew. She’d probably seen it in a dream. She had a gift with that.

“It seems crazy, because we haven’t known each other for too long, but I know I’d follow him anywhere. The problem is… would he follow me?” Merlin asked Morgana.

Arthur’s brows furrowed. Of course he would. Why would Merlin ever think he wouldn’t?

But then, why wouldn’t he? Merlin was right to worry. Arthur had turned on him so quickly. Holding Merlin’s hand while Helen sang had been wonderful, but the second Helen looked, he let go. He pushed Merlin away. He made Merlin feel unimportant.

Arthur had to fix this, and he had to fix it soon. He couldn’t risk losing Merlin.

He couldn’t risk losing the man he loved.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! As always, kudos and (nice) comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> My twitter is @thorsbruce and I tweet about all kinds of stuff.
> 
> Also, sorry that the last two parts have been so short. The next part (based on the Rewrite the Stars scene) should be longer. I hope you enjoyed the last two parts anyway!


End file.
